Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
