it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
