4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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