Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
