I just cut my nipple shaving
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
