Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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