so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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