Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
