Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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