So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
