you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Less talking, more tequila
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize