I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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