final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
