we're blogging at a bar
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
