is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
