i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
