i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
