Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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