now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
jump out the window naked night went bad
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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