I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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