I bet he comes in French.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Randomize
