What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
