Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
