I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize