I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
