it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Randomize
