if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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