Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
