You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
