their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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