just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize