my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
