But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
