I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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