all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
