my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
handjob tips. give me some.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
