apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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