She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
