she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
