I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm jealous of your bromance
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
