brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
