i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
