That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
