Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I think I won the penis lottery.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
