i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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