i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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