I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I don't think brook has ever known best
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
