i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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