NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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