I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
