white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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