in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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