i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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