Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
