i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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