I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
