It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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