what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He called his prostate his "boner button".
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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