Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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